La Cultura/America is the best goddamn country in the world
“Folks in Madrid toss down little cups of coffee like muscle cars guzzle gas, smoke cigarettes like it was their last day on earth, eat nothing but fried foods, and drink till-at (the very) least-3am.”
-My MTV Europe Guidebook
Well said.
Spanish culture is very different from American culture. A few things: First, Spaniards like to eat late, go out late, and stay out late. They eat breakfast in the morning, take a 2 hour lunch break in the early afternoon, called “la comida,” in which they do not take a siesta, as some uneducated bastards believe, but they take a beer instead, or a copa de vino, with tapas, which are snacks that are served with any alcoholic beverage, and they eat “la cena” later in the evening, around 9 or 10. They then do not go out until 1 or 2 and stay out until 6 in the morning. Needless to say, my body cannot handle this drastic change in nightlife, so I end up getting too wasted too early and blacking out and then waking up and trying to remember what happened the night before while I notice that someone has heeled me on my foot and I wince in pain as I see the torn flesh and try not to feel nauseous from the Vodka and Red Bulls that I drank the night before (never a good decision, remember, nothing good ever happens after 2am; yeah, I did just make a HIMYM reference).
Second, Spanish boys are VERY persistent. Apparently, they do not understand the meaning of No, even if it is the same in both languages. I have had to run away many a time from creepy looking, too handsy, awkward dancing, Jesus-named boys. Ay Dios mio. Also, a few notes about my Senora…she is absolutely crazy. This past weekend she went to visit her mother and sister near Andalucia and she came back and was like, I did not go to bed until 6 or 7AM each night…What the fuck? She is like 60 years old. I went to bed at 2:30…I am such a loser. She is constantly skyping, nothing but skyping or on the computer. Each night I go to bed and she is still up chatting away…One time, my roommates and I went out and we came back at like 2 because we had class the next morning, and she asks us “Why are you guys home so early?” What the fuck? What the fuck?
She also does not know how to cook. Every day, its always the same meal, chicken nuggets and soup. CHICKEN NUGGETS AND SOUP? I’m in Spain bitch, I want home-cooked meals. I want paella, home made croquetas, and whatever else your fucking country has to offer. She has not once used the oven to bake anything, she cooks EVERYTHING in the microwave, I must take tips from this woman. All I eat is fried foods that come from the freezer. She is almost always surrounded in a cloud of cigarette smoke. I can hear her in the living room and the click of the lighter every ten minutes. She’s crazy, loca.
Spain does have one good thing going for them: They have the best bread in the world. I would move here for the fucking bread. It is to die for. I also love their chocolate croissants, ahhh heaven. Flaky, heavenly bread surrounding a thick delicious spread of semi-melted chocolate covered in chocolate sprinkles…mmm.
Oh, and at the university, students drink fucking beer during their break. Beer? That is awesome.
Did you know? There are more bars and pubs here than in all other western European capitals COMBINED. They sure know how to drink. Except they don’t get drunk? But then, what’s the point of even drinking? Geez, America is the only country that really knows how to throwdown, except maybe Ireland, but even then, fuck the Irish.
I will never ever fucking live in a country other than America. Fuck Europe and your stupid tiny little coffee cups, your horrible restaraunt service, your fucking discotequas, your cigarettes, your piercings (every Spaniard has a facial piercing, that;s how you tell the foreigners from the locals), your bottled water, your language, your weird eating schedule, and your proximity to France.
God bless America, and the English language.
